Reconciliation and Divorce: Sometimes Love Just Needs a Coffee Break

Reconciliation and Divorce: Sometimes Love Just Needs a Coffee Break

By Kristen Shearin, JD, CDFA® On 05/02/2025

One of the first things I tell my clients is this: Be absolutely sure your marriage is over before you go through with a divorce. I know, I know—kind of a weird thing for a divorce financial analyst to say, right? Isn't that like a hairdresser telling you not to get bangs during a breakup?

But here's the thing: if the marriage is truly over, they’ll be back. And if they work things out? I’m genuinely happy for them (and so is their wallet). Divorce is expensive—emotionally, financially, and mentally. So, I regularly recommend couples give counseling one last try. Worst-case scenario? It helps set some ground rules for how to treat each other during the split and lays the foundation for co-parenting. Best-case scenario? They realize they still like each other and ride off into the sunset (or at least to Starbucks together).

Sometimes it’s obvious that the relationship is toast. Burnt toast. Like, left-in-the-toaster-too-long toast. But then sometimes, I meet with a couple and I’m like… Wait, why are you here? You are both great, and you own 50% of each other’s entire net worth, are things really that bad?

I’ve had more than one couple reconcile during mediation. (Yes, during. Like mid-"who-gets-the-Honda Odyssey" conversation.) Something about facing the finality of divorce—and the financial reality of it—can make people suddenly remember what they liked about each other in the first place. There’s that old phrase: “It’s cheaper to keep her.” Harsh? A little. True? Often. And honestly, we need a version for the guys. “Don’t ditch the mister—it might cost you your sister!” (Okay, I’ll work on it.)

I’ve even divorced the same couple more than once. And I’m pretty sure one couple hooked up in the car during the court lunch break. I didn’t ask questions—but I did sanitize some things, just in case.

All jokes aside, I think staying together when you’re that close to calling it quits is actually really romantic. Not the easy, rom-com kind of romantic—but the real, gritty, we’ve-seen-each-other-at-our-worst-and-we’re-still-choosing-each-other kind. That’s big love.

Of course, if you are sure the marriage is over, that’s okay too. Divorce can be a healthy, empowering choice. But for those who are in the “maybe” zone, the divorce process can actually be… weirdly clarifying. And working with professionals who don’t guilt or pressure you can make all the difference.

So whether you’re splitting up, patching things up, or just need someone to explain who gets the dog and the Costco membership—divorce financial analysts are here for it.

Tagged with: Reconciliation, Divorce Advice, CDFA Perspective, Financial Impact of Divorce, Marriage Counseling, Divorce Mediation, Relationship Decisions, Emotional Cost of Divorce

Blog Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within these blog posts are solely the author’s and do not reflect the opinions and beliefs of the Certitrek, IDFA or its affiliates.